I like the poetry of swimming in fishnets

name: amelia
occupation: life coach
dislikes: people who nap, children with sticky hands, department store dressing room lighting, everyone else at the gym, symmetrical hairstyles

You like my new coffee table? It was a rescue.

wednesday animal edition

name: snowball
occupation: garbage can reconnaissance
unexpected hobby: japanese flower arrangement

I can't believe the other kids at school don't know about spray tan.

name: becky
occupation: 4th grade beauty pageant star
what she wants for christmas: bangs

In sooth, I know not why I am so sad

name: kristal
occupation: actress and american apparel employee
favorite jamba juice: berry fulfulling

I can't get that Jem! and the Holograms song out of my head.

name: andrea
occupation: works retail at ethan allen
greatest professional achievement: #1 couch seller in october '08

bonus.

I just had an idea about pi

name: miles
occupation: vain pastry chef
best subject in school: quantum physics

Did I leave the oven on?

wednesday animal edition

name: lottie
occupation: retired sheep fitness expert
first thing she does in the morning: squats

"What if God was one of us" is grammatically incorrect.

name: siobhan
occupation: administrative assistant and saboteur
soft spot: volunteers for peta on wednesday nights

I miss Michael Jackson.

name: joan
occupation: professional catsitter
favorite writer: jean-paul sartre

I wonder what hair gel Elvis used.

name: hans
occupation: programs the ipods at gap stores nationwide
latest purchase: chapstick

I've been holding this smile since the '80s

name: ellen
occupation: edits the school newspaper
favorite animal: snow leopard

Catching a quick nap.

name: keira
occupation: eastern philosophy major, works at struggling indie video store
favorite beatles song: lucy in the sky with diamonds

You can't sit here. I'm shopping.

name: mary
occupation: wife of visiting foreign dignitary
personal maxim: "if i can open my eyes, more eyeshadow."